Alright, here we go. This is called Dying to be Alive, and it's a rough draft. Give me much feedback. :o)
For a long time in my life, I felt as if I was just playing pretend. I seemed like a little kid, leading a big game of fantasy. Nothing seemed real to me. After awhile, I just became some kind of empty shell who existed for the sole purpose of pleasing others.
I suppose I should backtrack slightly so that you won't be completely confused. For sixteen years, I've led a really privilaged life, as some might say. I live in a decent-sized house with both of my parents. My dad is a businessman, but I've never really understood what kind of business he deals in. All I can say is that he is one of those men who throws classy parties where his collegues discuss politics, and their wives gossip about everyone in the inner circle. My mother spends her time being a socialite's wife. That sounds extremely boring to me, but she claims it's a full-time job. I don't have any brothers or sisters, but sometimes I wish I did.
I've attended private school all my life with all the other spoiled little rich kids. I even have a boyfriend, James. He's the typical teenage guy, I guess. My parents are friends with his, and they all expect us to date until we're out of college. Then they'll probably want to throw this huge gala wedding. I can't even bare to imagine marrying a guy like James and becoming a lady who spends her days buying fur coats and sipping tea with other women, discussing her petty problems.
All of this has forever seemed so meaningless to me. It just feels wrong for me to sit back and let life pass by, without doing anything worthwhile. I know that some of you are thinking I have absolutely no reason to complain, since there are people with major problems who deserve lots more pity. I realize that, but I don't think you can make light of living with no purpose. That's exactly what my life has turned in to.
You may be wondering why I'm droning on and on here about the trials of life. See, all of these feelings came erupting from me a few days ago. I was walking around town, shopping with James. He desperately wanted to blow a few dollars on some extravagant necklace for me, but I just felt like escaping.
&nbps  "Come on, James. Let's just do something different for once. . ." I pleaded, half-hoping he'd actually pay attention to anything I said for once.
He looked at me, not even noticed I'd spoken. "So, do you like the gold or silver better?" he asked, holding each in front of me as we stood before the register of Clark's Jewelry Store. His carefully geled brown hair was beginning to come out of place after a long day in the wind. I knew that he would freak out once he saw it. He was just that kind of guy. "Nevermind, gold, right?" he decided for himself. "Allie loves gold," he smiled at the saleswoman, as if I wasn't even there. The truth is, I can't stand gold jewelry. Stuff like that just seems too flashy for me.
After I'd thanked him for the thoughtless gift with a fake tone of appreciation, we made our way out of the store. I automatically spotted a new artsy shop that had recently been built down the street. It was kind of a mix of a coffee shop and music store.
"Hey, we should check that out," I suggested as I tugged on James' shirt. He winced, looking at the eccentric decor in the store windows.
"Awww, do we have to, Alexandra?" he whined. I ignored him and felt a sudden burst of freedom, pulling him into the store.
We walked into an unknown land where black lights flashed and the sounds of Led Zeppelin floated through the speakers. Most people looked up from their drinks at James and me, in our conservative clothing, courtesy of The Gap, as though we were completely out of our element. I could clearly tell that James was uncomfortable, but I really wanted to give the place a chance. We grabbed a table and ordered some coffee. James remained quiet for awhile, as though he was punishing me with silence. Then, finally, he stood up and made a decision.
"Allie, I'm leaving. This place isn't for people like us. Are you coming?" he asked, heading to the door. I was shocked that he could be so close-minded. People like us? How did he ever manage to become so snobby? I shook my head and let him leave me all alone in this new world.
I took everything as it came, but I didn't really talk to anyone. I sipped the bitter-tasting coffee and began to zone out, when the door to the shop opened. A tall guy with shaggy blonde hair walked in. His clothes looked vintage, but they had that comfortable, worn appearance to them. As he waved to the cashier, I noticed the air of confidence and friendliness he exuded. I also immediately took note that his eyes were a heavenly shade of blue. . .
"Excuse me," he began, looking right into my hazel-colored eyes. I think I muttered some kind of greeting as he continued. "You're new here, right? At least I've never seen you before. I'm Taylor."
Yeah, and you're gorgeous, I thought. Then I remembered my manners.
"Hi, I'm Alexandra. Would you like to sit with me?" I boldly asked. Normally, I wasn't so forward, but it was like this strange power was coming over me.
He accepted my offer and sat across from me. He seemed so genuine and pure, like no one I'd ever known. He chattered along, asking a million questions. No one really ever wanted to know so much about me before, but this Taylor guy was absolutely intrigued. We talked for an eternity about our lives, art, music. . .everything.
Something weird was happening to me; this guy made me feel so different. For the first time in a long time, I felt alive.
Okay, that's the first chapter. It kinda seems a bit rushed, I know, but o well. Tell me what you think! :o)